


Do You Really Love Me?

by Mu_fangirl



Category: Monsta X (Band), iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Monsta X made appearance, Nightmares, Relationship with the member in the end, Suicide Attempt, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-08-19 06:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mu_fangirl/pseuds/Mu_fangirl
Summary: The members were secretly in love with their maknae but they couldn't bring themselves to tell him.Yet they did some horrible mistake to him, they raped him and it wasn't one time only. They had broken the person that they should cherish the most.So will they able to confess to Chanwoo and what will Chanwoo do?





	1. The incident

Chanwoo slid down as he hugged both of his knees. His back was touching his locked door. He was already a shaking mess.

His tears showed how scared he was, begging that they would just go but his luck seemed ran out as he heard banging from the other side of his door.

"Jung Chanwoo! Open the door for me!" ordered the person but Chanwoo only stayed still.

"Please just go!!" begged Chanwoo

  


**Flashback**

Chanwoo was sleeping when he felt some weights on him. The pressure was so big that he almost couldn't breathe.

When he opened his eyes, Junhoe was on top of him. Chanwoo was really surprised, what was Junhoe doing?

"What the hell?" asked Chanwoo as he tried to push Junhoe but no luck, Junhoe easily overpowered Chanwoo.

Then out of nowhere Junhoe started to kiss him, from his lip to his neck and go back and forth.

"What are you doing?!" asked Chanwoo, clearly surprised.

"You. need. to. be. punished." said Junhoe, stressing every word.

"The hell? What do you mean by need to be punished?! Seriously Junhoe hyung, let me go!" yelled Chanwoo

"Not a chance baby.." said Junhoe with his deep voice.

Junhoe started to unbuckle his belt with one hand and used it to tie both of Chanwoo's hand to the headbed.

"No! Are you crazy?!" asked Chanwoo, seriously Junhoe must be out of his mind.

Chanwoo noticed something was off, he smelled a strong scent of alcohol from the man above him and it scared him more.

This is migght not be his first time, but it was his first time by forced.

When Junhoe felt Chanwoo couldn't resist anymore, he started to undress both him and Chanwoo. He didn't even care the tears from Chanwoo eyes.

"Relax baby, you gonna feel good" said Junhoe

And that night, Junhoe united their body. For Junhoe it was pleasure but for Chanwoo, it was nothing but pain and agony.

**End of flashback**

**  
**

Remembering that made his body trembled even more. The next morning after that incident, Junhoe acted like he didn't do anything wrong. He woke up alone on the bed still naked but his hands were already untied.

He didn't dare to ask or to confront Junhoe beacuse Chanwoo was scared that Junhoe would say he didn't remember and he would embarrassed himself. He only distanced himself from him.

What worse was the fact that wasn't the only time it happened, and Junhoe was not the only one.

**Flashback**

In order to celebrate their debut anniversary, they were having drinks at the upper floor's dorm and one person must stay sober to prevent them from doing bad things or embarrassing things, they were an idol afterall.

Chanwoo wasn't feeling like drinking that night so he willingly volunteered himself to be the one who stayed sober.

They were watching movie, eating and drinking all at once but in the middle of it, Chanwoo was feeling tired, he didn't feel that well so he excused himself from them.

But what he didn't realized was the that Bobby followed him.

Only then when he was about to close his door, Bobby pushed him inside and pulled him by force to the bed.

Bobby was more aggresive than Junhoe. He was able to overpower Chanwoo even if he was smaller than him. Bobby gripped Chanwoo's hand tightly down to the bed that he was sure it would leave some red mark.

"Hyung, wha... what a.. are... you.. doing?" asked Chanwoo, he was stuttering from the fear.

"I. Want. You." said Bobby, his eyes was full of lust.

"Hyung, please don't.... You're drunk!" said Chanwoo, struggling his way out but there was none. He could smelled a strong scent of alcohol from the older male.

'Please no..... not again....' said Chanwoo's mind.

The incident with Junhoe left a big trauma for him, he couldn't imagine getting more, he didn't sure he could handle it.

Bobby leaned closer and was about to kiss him,

"NO! HELP! Please no!!" screamed Chanwoo. Even then Bobby didn't bother to stop.

He heard footsteps coming from the living room, thinking that the members would stop Bobby but when the members arrive and he saw the look on their faces.

He knew,

He knew that something terrible was about to happen to him. There were only lust in the members faces and Chanwoo could only cry.

"Stop... I don't want any of this..." pleaded Chanwoo, but they just turned deaf.  
Even with his loud sobs and his clear tears, the members just wouldn't stop.

They were pounding to him one by one until he fainted, he didn't know when they stopped but he was glad he passed out, so he didn't have to go under the pain fully awake.

When he woke up, he was alone, again but this time, his clothes were back on.

His ass was and mouth were really sore that even with the slighest move, he had to hold himself from screaming the pain.

Chanwoo was reallu upset with all of his hyung, he truly didn't expect them to do that crazy thing to him. They weren't even his boyfriend or at least showed any signs of liking him.

He wasn't a toy, he is a human and he has feeling. They just destroyed him.

**End of flashback.**

  


  
Those memories made his tear flowing more swiftly and his sobs was also getting louder that the whole house must definitely hear him.

Since that incident, he was shutting them. He didn't even answer them unless work matters.

He didn't want to be in one room or one car with them. He was rather scared than angry. He also considered leaving the group.

This evening, Chanwoo was in kitchen alone, a glass of water in his hand. He had made sure before that he was alone, that none of the members were around.

But then suddenly Hanbin and Jinhwan entered the kitchen making Chanwoo stopped his movement abruptly.

"Chanwoo ah.." called Jinhwan

Chanwoo didn't answer him and immediately walked back to his room but Hanbin quickly blocked his way.

"Chanwoo ah, we need to talk" said Hanbin

Chanwoo kept his mouth silent and retreated a few steps back, widened the gap between them.

"Chanwoo ah, please don't be like this..." said Jinhwan

"We didn't mean to do 'that', we were drunk..." said Hanbin

"Beside its only one night.." said Jinhwan which he regretted immediately because Chanwoo shot his head up quickly and looked at them disbelieving.

The look on his face made both of them felt more guilty than ever but they didn't get the chance to apologize further because Chanwoo sprinted to his bedroom before they spoke a word, bumping them in the process.

And that was how he ended up in his position now. He didn't hear anymore voices out there but he didn't dare to move.

He felt like needing to escape so he reached his phone and called someone he trusted.

"Hyung..."

"Chanwoo ah, what's wrong? Why do you call me at this late hour?" asked the person from the other line.

"Hyung..." Chanwoo felt like the happiest person that time, hearing that voice.

"What happened Chanwoo ah? Why is your voice sound like that? Were you crying?" asked the person, clearly sounding worry.

"Hyung, save me please.." begged Chanwoo


	2. HELP!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monsta X came to the rescue

"Hyung, save me please.." begged Chanwoo

"Save you?! Where are you?! What happened?" asked the person

"I'm at the dorm, please save me from them... Please quick" begged Chanwoo

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as possible"

"Thank you... Changkyun hyung" said Chanwoo

Changkyun didn't ask further, he quickly called one of his member and made their way to iKON dorm.

Ikon and Monsta X had been close friend ever since the chinese program that they both were starring at.

They kept in touch since then, especially Changkyun and Chanwoo because their similiar circumstance. The only difference between them beside their age was that Changkyun was dating two of his members while Chanwoo wasn't dating anyone in his group.

It only took fifteen minutes for Changkyun to arrive at iKON's dorm. He quickly pressed the bell and knocked the door impatiently.

"Be patient Changkyun ah" said the man beside him

"I can't Shownu hyung" said Changkyun. Yup, it was Shownu. Somehow, Changkyun had the urge to bring one of the member with the biggest body. So it was between Wonho and Shownu, but because Shownu was taller so he chose him.

Sorry Wonho but it was true though.

"Did your boyfriends know you're going here?" asked Shownu

"Minhyuk hyung and Hyungwon hyung were sleeping so I couldn't wake them up but I already left some notes" said Changkyun

Their conversation was cut off because finally someone opened the door.

"Changkyun hyung? Shownu hyung?" asked Donghyuk, confused.

"Where is Chanwoo?" asked Changkyun straight to the point, while Shownu had to hold Changkyun hand, preventing him from barging right into ikon's dorm.

"Did he call you?" asked Donghyuk, "Yes, he did" said Changkyun, he didn't feel good about this.

They watch Donghyuk taking a deep breathe before signaling them to follow him.

"Shownu hyung? Changkyunie? You're here for Chanwoo?" asked Yunhyeong, guessing what happened.

Changkyun only nodded, he truly didn't get the situation. The members looked fine, so from whom exactly did Chanwoo ask Changkyun to save him.

"Where is he?" asked Changkyun

"He locked himself in his room" said Yunhyeong

When they arrived in front of Chanwoo's door there were Hanbin and Jinhwan sitting at the floor.

"You must be confused right? I want to explain to you but I think, its the best if Chanwoo who will explain it to you, he is the one who called you after all." said Yunhyeong

"But there is one thing I could tell you...... We made a really terrible mistake to our maknae and I don't think he would forgive us but what important is you need to keep him from doing bad things to himself" said Donghyuk

"I can do that, don't worry!" said Changkyun

Hanbin and Jinhwan who saw Changkyun standing in front of them, quickly moved out of the way because this was maybe the only way to make Chanwoo stepped out of his room

Changkyun walked next to the door and knocked softly.

"Chanwoo ah, its hyung" said Chanwoo

He didn't get any respons so he knocked again. "Baby, its okay, its your hyung. I won't hurt you" said Changkyun

"Are you alone?" Finally they heard Chanwoo's voice. They were really glad even if the voice sounded really tired. They were glad just from hearing his voice.

"No, I'm with Shownu hyung but he is fine, he won't hurt you either" said Changkyun, signalling the iKON's members to leave which they complied.

"There are only two of us here, so open the door will you?" asked Changkyun

"Can I go to your place?" asked Chanwoo

"Of course, you can. You are welcomed everytime" said Changkyun, he was confused just how bad the mistake that Yunhyeong mentioned to make Chanwoo in this condition.

"I don't want to meet them" said Chanwoo

"You won't, Shownu hyung would make sure that, right hyung?" said Changkyun

"Yes Chanwoo ah, you're safe with us" said Shownu

There were only silent for a moment before he heard the sound of the door being opened.

As soon as Chanwoo saw Changkyun, he went straight to hug him and Changkyun could clearly felt the poor boy was trembling really hard.

"Its alright, we can go now" said Changkyun, he guided the boy to walked beside him as they made their way to the door.

Shownu already told the iKON members to stay away until Chanwoo was calm but Junhoe just wouldn't listen.

He grabbed Chanwoo hand from leaving which made the boy became surprised and trembled even more.

Chanwoo quickly pulled his hand away and hid himself behind Shownu, literally grabbing the older male's shirt.

"Please Chanwoo, listen to me first" said Junhoe

"..No.." they could barely hear Chanwoo soft voice.

"Don't be like this, we could solve it together. You don't have to called them, you don't have to go" said Junhoe

"No! You don't get to say that! No!" said Chanwoo as he ran away from them. He took Junhoe word as an underestimation.

"Chanwoo ah!" called Changkyun

He ended up in the kitchen, and the boy was short-minded at the time, so when he saw a glass at the table, he quickly throw it to the floor so that it was shattered. He picked the largest shard and put it on his left wrist.

"Chanwoo ah! Don't do that!" panicked Changkyun who was just arrived followed by the others.

"Stay away!" Chanwoo warned them

"Please Chanwoo ah.." begged Hanbin

They became more panic as they saw blood started to flowing down from the wound.

"Put the glass down, please?" asked Shownu

"No" answered Chanwoo sternly as he put more pressure on it.

"Chanwoo ah, I'm sure whatever they did to you, you can still forgive him" said Chanwoo

"Not this time, they destroyed me..." said Chanwoo, his tears started flowing down.

"We weren't in our right mind that time Chanwoo ah" said Jinhwan

"THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE!" screamed Chanwoo

"Calm down Chanwoo ah" said Changkyun, horrified from the sight of the blood.

"Do you even imagine being in my place?..." asked Chanwoo

"We're sorry baby.." said Bobby

"Don't call me that! Please I beg you!" said Chanwoo, even with his trembling body, he managed to keep the piece of glass stay put on his hand.

"You don't know how that broke me, you know exactly being forced is the most thing I hate and yet you guys did in right to me!" said Chanwoo

"I can't even close my eyes at night, my body hurts so much, do you even care?!" asked Chanwoo.

"Chanwoo ah, look at me..." said Changkyun

"Forget about that for now please? Give me that glass and you can come with me, you can stay with me and my members. We won't hurt you, you can have my word. Do you trust me?" asked Changkyun

"I trusted them..." said Changkyun softly, his voice was getting smaller and his head was starting to get dizzy from the blood loss.

"I won't hurt you, you can at least believe that" said Changkyun

"Now give me that thing on your hand" said Changkyun, extending his hand slowly.

Chanwoo was pale enough and it clearly was not a good sign.

"Give me that please?" asked Changkyun, taking a step closer.

"Please?" asked Changkyun

Right before Chanwoo handed the glass over, the world started spinning around him as he was losing his consciousness.

"Chanwoo ah!" called Changkyun as the boy collapsed

Thankfully Shownu was able to catch Chanwoo in time just before the boy hit the floor.

Changkyun quickly grabbed a napkin on the table and put it on Chanwoo's wound.

"What the hell are you doing?! Call the ambulance!" shouted Changkyun who saw the members only stood still like stone.

He didn't understand how could they do that to their maknae.


	3. Rescued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry guys who read my update before this cause I accidentally upload the chapter after this first but I already fixed it
> 
> So happy reading

"YOU WHAT?!" asked Changkyun, not caring everyone was looking at him.

"Changkyun ah lower your voice" said Minhyuk who was standing next to him. Both Minhyuk and Hyungwon had come to the hospital to accompany Changkyun, sending Shownu home. They were worried about their boyfriend.

"We were very drunk that night.." said Bobby

"Ya! That's not an excuse for you to do that!" raged Changkyun, not even caring that the male was older.

"Actually....... before that...... I also did 'it' to him and I was drunk too that night. I didn't even realize until the next morning, but... I ran away because I was scared..." said Junhoe, feeling all guilty.

The others member had known about this because Junhoe told them right after they raped Chanwoo.

"YOU!! DO YOU EVER THINK HOW HE FELT WHEN HE WOKE UP?!!" ragged Changkyun as he stormed off to Junhoe, grabbing his collar.

"Changkyun ah! Don't be like this!" said Hyungwon

It took both Minhyuk and Hyungwon to pull Changkyun off Junhoe.

"Let me go! I need to give them lesson" said Changkyun

"Babe relax!" said Minhyuk

Minhyuk had to hug Changkyun to calm him down.

"How dare you do that to him! If you don't like him being added to your group, then you should've said it from the beginning!" said Changkyun

"We love him alright! We don't hate him, never." said Jinhwan

"WHAT?!" Changkyun, Hyungwon, and Minhyuk were truly surprised to hear Jinhwan's confession.

"We love Chanwoo, but we aren't brave enough to confess to him. We're scared that he will reject us" said Donghyuk

"And that's why you forced him?!" asked Changkyun, getring angry.

"YA! Forcing him would only make him resent you! You know exactly he hated to be forced in anyway. Do you even think how painful it was?!" asked Changkyun

"I know, do you think we don't feel guilty right now?" asked Yunhyeong

"Chanwoo was just really tempting that night, and our drunk self just did the rest" said Bobby, feeling shamed.

"Don't you dare to lay your hand on him again!" warned Changkyun.

"We can't take what we did back, but we want to apologize to him, make things right" said Yunhyeong

"We have loved him for years and it won't change" said Junhoe.

"Alright, for now let he stay with us. Meet him after he gets better, not before" said Minhyuk

"Changkyun, you better go inside and company Chanwoo" said Hyungwon

"Fine!" said Changkyun, giving the iKON's member his death glare as he walked to the room.

When Changkyun stepped inside the room, Chanwoo was still sleeping.

He quietly took a sit on the chair next to the hospital bed.

"Chanwoo ah, poor you" said Changkyun, gently stroking Chanwoo's hair. He considered Chanwoo as his real brother so that's why he was very angry at the members.

He looked at the boy wrist, at the bandage to be exact. He couldn't imagine what Chanwoo had gone through.

Chanwoo made a little groan, signaling that he was waking up.

"Chanwoo ah? How do you feel?" asked Changkyun as soon as he saw Chanwoo opened his eyes.

Chanwoo quickly sit up amd looked around panicky.

"Sshhh.... Calm down, its only me" said Changkyun

"Where am I?" asked Chanwoo as he began to calm down

"Hospital, you tried to slid your wrist remember? Now please promise me you won't do something like that again, you almost gave me a heart attack" said Changkyun

"I'm sorry hyung" said Chanwoo

"Just don't do it again" said Changkyun that earned a slow nod from Chanwoo.

"Hyung... I don't want to be here..." said Chanwoo

"Want to sleep at my dorm?" asked Changkyun

"Really? Can I?" asked Chanwoo, looking straight to Changkyun eyes.

"Of course you can" said Changkyun

Suddenlt the door was swung opened and that made Chanwoo immediately grabbed Changkyun arm. Thankfully it turned out to be Hyungwon and Minhyuk.

"Hi big guy" said Hyungwon

"Chanwoo ah, how are you doing?" asked Minhyuk

"Hi Minhyuk hyung, Hyungwon hyung" said Chanwoo

"I'll ask the doctor first when you can go home alright?" asked Changkyun

"Alright hyung" said Chanwoo.

"Hyungwon hyung, Minhyuk hyung, please take care of him" said Changkyun

"Yes" said both of them.

Minhyuk and Hyungwon felt bad for the boy. He looked so scared and fragile, though they seemed to understand a bit why the iKON's members fell in love with him. He looked so innocent and adorable.

Minhyuk's hand accidentally had contact with Chanwoo's hand that made the boy flinched.

"Sorry Chanwoo ah" said Minhyuk, "No, I'm sorry hyung" said Chanwoo

"Don't apologize Chanwoo ah, its nothing" said Minhyuk "No need to be afraid of us, you can trust us like how you trust Changkyun. None of us will hurt you" said Hyungwon

"I trusted them and they hurt me, will you end up doing the same to me, hyung?" asked Chanwoo

"No we won't do that" said Hyungwon

"Promise?" asked Chanwoo

Hyungwon and Minhyuk had to hold themself from sequelling over Chanwoo. He looked so adorable.

"Promise" said Hyungwon and Minhyuk, "Thank you hyung" said Chanwoo earning a smile from both of them.

  
"Chanwoo ah, the doctor said you can go home today" said Changkyun suddenly bursting the door in.

"Yes, thank you hyung" said Chanwoo

  
\--------------------

"Don't be scared Chanwoo ah, you met my members before right? They are good people" said Changkyun as he saw Chanwoo was hiding behind Hyungwon while grabbing his shirt.

But Chanwoo stayed in his position, he was still scared.

"C'mon, lets get in" said Minhyuk, opening the door.

  
"Hi there Chanwoo ah" said Kihyun, approaching Chanwoo

They believed that letting Kihyun took the approach to the boy was a good thing, he was 'the mom' of the group afterall.

"Don't just hide behind Hyungwon, you can come out. I promise it won't hurt" said Kihyun

Finally Chanwoo did as he told. He took a step aside so that he wasn't behind Hyungwon anymore.

"You must be hungry, right? You can rest a bit in Changkyun's room while I prepare dinner" said Kihyun

"Lets go" said Changkyun, holding Chanwoo's hand lightly.

  
As soon as they were gone, Kihyun looked like he was about to cry.

"He looked so scared" said Kihyun

"I can't believe ikon's members couldn't keep what behind their pants" said Wonho

"I can't imagine how hurt it must be.... He is so young" said Joohoen

  
Chanwoo froze in front of the bed and Changkyun understood why.

"Sshh... Its okay.... Its okay" said Changkyun, he knew that looking at the bed must triggered the memories.

Chanwoo started to tremble, his leg gave out and he collapsed to the floor.

"Chanwoo ah, I'm here, That won't happen again to you" said Changkyun, rubbing Chanwoo's back softly.

"I'm scared" said Chanwoo as he started crying.

"Its alright, lets get you some sleep first" said Changkyun, guiding Chanwoo to lie down on the bed.

It didn't take long before Chanwoo was asleep, maybe because he was really tired.

Either way, Changkyun decided to stay with him until he woke up again.

  
Half an hour later, Chanwoo started to move in his sleep that gained Changkyun attention, who was playing with his phone before.

Chanwoo looked uneasy as he kept stirring his body.

"Chanwoo ah, wake up" said Changkyun, touching the boy's shoulder but the moment they made contact, Chanwoo immediately flinched away.

"No! Don't touch me!" cried Chanwoo in his sleep.

"Chanwoo ah, wake up! Its me, Changkyun hyung" said Changkyun

"No stop it! Go away! Aaakhhh...." screamed Chanwoo

The door was opened and Wonho stepped in with a worry look on his face.

"Hyung help! He's having a nightmare" said Changkyun, not knowing what to do.

Wonho quickly walked to the bed as he sat next to Chanwoo.

"Chanwoo ah, wake up!" said Wonho as he restrained every of Chanwoo's moves.

He became more aggresive even though Wonho could easily hold him back.

Chanwoo woke up screaming and crying, thankfully Wonho quickly hugged him to calm him down.

"Let me go! Let me go!" cried Chanwoo

"Sshh... Its fine, its us Chanwoo ah" said Changkyun

Wonho could felt how bad the boy trembled and he could only caressed him.

Soon all of the members were there with their worry and panic expression. Chanwoo hid his on Wonho chest as he was still so scared.

"What happened?" asked Shwonu

"Nightmare..... I'm seriously gonna kill them" answered Changkyun

"Not so fast babe" said Hyungwon

Chanwoo already fell asleep on Wonho chest because Wonho was so comfortable and comfort is exactly what he needed at the moment. Chanwoo leaned in more when Wonho stroked his hair softly and when he sang a calming lullaby.

Chanwoo was announced hiatus from iKON and he hadn't made contact with any of his members, not that he wanted too. The incident was still haunting him, just a little bit better from the beginning.

He had stayed in Monsta X's dorm for about two weeks now. Changkyun and his members managed to make the boy at least not flinching when someone made a skin contact with him.

Chanwoo was eating alone at the kitchen when Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Changkyun came in and sit near him. Chanwoo could felt the atmosphefe getting more tense.

"Chanwoo ah..." called Kihyun

"Whats wrong Kihyun hyung?" asked Chanwoo

"Well, all of us could see that you're getting better and we love it...." said Minhyuk

"I still don't agree hyung" said Changkyun

"Agree about what?" asked Chanwoo

"Your members asked to meet you. They saw you getting better and they had something to tell you" said Changkyun

The moment Chanwoo heard the members's word, he immediately froze.

"I told you right? He is not ready yet" said Changkyun

"How did they know I was getting better?" asked Chanwoo

"Please don't be mad, but I secretly took your picture constanly and send it to them" said Minhyuk

"I'm not angry at you hyung, you have done so much to help me" said Chanwoo.

"So what's your answer Chanwoo ah?" asked Kihyun


	4. Can I?

"Are you sure?" asked Changkyun, "You can always say no, its not too late to back up" said Changkyun.

Chanwoo had agreed about the offer, he agreed to meet his members in Monsta X's dorm.

"Its alright, I could try...... Hyung will be in the next room right?" asked Chanwoo

"Of course, if something bad happens, just scream and I will come in a blink" said Changkyun that earned a smile from Chanwoo.

"I will do good right? I can forgive them right?" asked Chanwoo, "You know I can't answer that but I won't forgive them because they've hurt my favorite brother" said Changkyun

"Thank you hyung" said Chanwoo, "Anytime" said Changkyun.

The door was knocked form the outside, "They're here" Changkyun and Chanwoo could hear Kihyun's voice.

"Take a deep breath and wait them here" said Changkyun, walking out of the room.

  
"I'm giving you warning, if you dare to hurt him again, then I'll kill you with my own hands!" warned Changkyun

"Okay that's enough babe, I think they understand already" said Hyungwon dragging Changkyun away

"Just go in there, he's waiting" said Hyungwon before he was out of sight.

"Lets do this, shall we?" asked Hanbin as he opened the door.

When the door was finally wide opened, they could see Chanwoo who was sitting on the edge of the bed while fidgeting his fingers.

They stepped in to the room slowly. Chanwoo looked very nervous, he didn't dare to lift his head up.

"Chanwoo ah..." called Yunhyeong softly but Chanwoo still didn't look up and the members couldn't do anything about that.

  
Chanwoo felt more anxious when he heard the door was shut.

"We won't hurt you Chanwoo ah, we don't came for that. No need to be worry" said Jinhwan

"We came here to apologize" said Hanbin, "Its very stupid of us to hurt you..... We were very drunk and we didn't realize what we did." said Hanbin

"That's not an excuse.... All of you broke me" whispered Chanwoo but loud enough to be heard by them.

"We know that... We wish we could turn back the time" said Donghyuk.

"Please don't get closer...." asked Chanwoo when he felt they take another step foward and of course that made them stop with a broken heart.

"Do you know how scary it was? Do you know that I can't even sleep for an hour because of the nightmare? Can you imagine how deep the trauma you all left in me?" asked Chanwoo, he started to get emotional and angry at the same time.

"Chanwoo ah.." called Yunhyeong

"Yet you acted like it was nothing..." said Chanwoo, "I know we've been nothing but assholes lately" said Junhoe.

"We're sorry Chanwoo ah, we're truly sorry" said Bobby

"No! I can't! I can't..." raved Chanwoo, he suddenly couldn't breathe, it felt like he was having a marathon run. This surely concerned the others.

His mind was a mess and he couldn't care anymore about his surroundings. All he could think was 'the incident' and all he could felt was pain.

"Leave!!! Leaveee!!!!!" cried Chanwoo.

He was pulling his hair because of the pain, and his tears wouldn't stop falling. Suddenly he could feel someone's arms embrace him.

Chanwoo was about to resist when a familiar voice came flowing into his ears. It was no other than Changkyun's.

"Ssshhh... Calm down Chanwoo ah, its me..." whispered Changkyun next to Chanwoo's ear.

"Hyunggg..." Chanwoo immediately hugged back Changkyun.

Changkyun could felt how bad the boy's trembling was. This is only slightly better than when he rescued him from iKON's dorm that time.

Donghyuk had to called Changkyun because he realized that they couldn't do anything to help their maknae and it felt hurt but nothing compared to Chanwoo's pain.

Hyungwon and Minhyuk who came into the room with Changkyun signalled everyone to leave the room which was complied with a heavy heart.

"They're gone Chanwoo ah, its only me..." said Changkyun

"Hyung... I can't.... I can't forgive them... I.. I want to.. but... but.." said Chanwoo, the boy looked so scared.

"You don't have to explain it Chanwoo ah, hyung understands you. You don't have to force yourself," said Changkyun

"Am I an evil? I was sure that I healed but hearing their voices again proved the other way around" said Chanwoo

"You are not an evil, you never is......... I'm sorry, I should've never let you see them" said Changkyun, "But its not your fault so don't apologize hyung" said Chanwoo, he was starting to calm down.

"Alright I won't but you need to promise me you'll listen to me from now on, I can't bear seeing my little brother like this again" said Changkyun

"I promise and..... thank you hyung" said Chanwoo, "Anytime..... Now lets get you some rest shall we?" asked Changkyun which earned a nod from the younger boy.

  
\--------------------

"Is he sleeping?" asked Wonho when he saw Changkyun walked into the room.

"Yes and why are they still here?" asked Changkyun looking sharply at the iKON's members.

"They are worried about Chanwoo" said Shownu

"He is fine thanks to me not you so you all can go now" said Changkyun

"Stop it Changkyun" said Kihyun

"No! I told you he's not ready, just because he say so doesn't mean he mean so!" said Changkyun, storming off the room and was followed by Minhyuk.

"Don't mind Changkyun" said Hyungwon, "No its okay, it means he cares a lot about Chanwoo, right?" asked Hanbin

"Of course" said Shownu, "Alright, we should leave then its late" said Jinhwan

"Please take care of him" said iKON member.

"We will, don't worry" said Kihyun

  
\------------------

  
"We messed up pretty bad, aren't we?" asked Junhoe, "Yeah we did, we messed up really bad" said Bobby, stressing the word 'really'.

"What should we do?" asked Donghyuk, he was still terrified from the sight of Chanwoo earlier. Well, all of them were.

"I honestly don't know but we need to fix this for sure or else we gonna lose him" said Hanbin

"First, just give him time to heal" said Jinhwan

"I miss him already, I miss his joke, I miss his laugh, I miss his smile, I miss everything from him" said Yunhyeong

"You're not the only one" said Jinhwan.

"The dorm felt so quiet without him" said Hanbin

"Yeah for sure," Said Junhoe

"I'll sleep in Chanwoo's room tonight" said Yunhyeong

"Me too" said Junhoe

They all ended up sleeping in Chanwoo's bed, imagining what would've happened if they hadn't do that stupid action.


	5. A Night

"How are you doing Chanwoo ah?" asked Shownu, they were currently having dinner. It had been four days since 'the meeting'.

"Very well, thanks to all of you, hyungdeul" said Chanwoo, he was feeling really grateful towards Monsta X's member.

"We're glad to hear that" said Joohoen

"I'm sorry if I became a burden" said Chanwoo, "No, don't you ever say that again Chanwoo ah. You are not a burden and never will" said Changkyun

"Changkyun's right, you are always welcomed here" said Wonho

"Thank you so much hyung" said Chanwoo

"Hmm... Chanwoo ah, there is actually something that I want to ask you" said Minhyuk

"About what hyung?" asked Chanwoo

"Why did you become panic not long after you talked to them? Did they do something to you again?" asked Minhyuk

"Do we need to discuss it?" asked Changkyun, clearly annoyed.

"Its alright Changkyun hyung and no. It wasn't like that" said Chanwoo

"Then what?" Minhyuk was asking carefully, they couldn't have Chanwoo went under the same situation again.

"I just thought that I was healed but turned out I was wrong...." said Chanwoo, "Hearing their voices.... I just can't, please don't be angry" said Chanwoo

"No dear, why would we be angry to you? You've done nothing wrong" said Kihyun

"But I should have forgiven them, it was me afterall who let them come..." said Chanwoo

"Don't think about it Chanwoo ah, your members are fine. It is still their fault" said Shownu

"Thank you hyung" said Chanwoo

"No problem, we already consider you like our owb brother just like Changkyun" said Wonho

"Actually, I have something in my mind" said Minhyuk

"What do you mean hyung?" asked Changkyun

"I have this crazy idea about how we will get Chanwoo healed" said Minhyuk

"I don't have good feeling about this..... Your crazy idea always turned out to be so crazy" said Hyungwon

"Spill it out first then judge later" said Kihyun

"Alright, be ready! Hiw about if we let Chanwoo to spend one night, just one night with iKON members?" suggested Minhyuk

Both Changkyun and Kihyun choked on his food, Hyungwon and Shownu had to gave Changkyun and Kihyun a glass of water.

"Are you crazy?" asked Changkyun, "He can't even stay in one room with them, how will he survive a night with them?" asked Changkyun

"Hear me out first babe" said Minhyuk

"I think he need to spend a night with them. He need to learn again that they care for him and the incident was a huge mistake but they are more than willing to pay for it, to make him love them or at least forgive them" said Minhyuk

"They love you Chanwoo ah, you know that right? Let them prove it to you, let them pay for their mistakes" said Minhyuk

"I still don't agree with this idea, if something bad happen, not that I expect it, and we aren't there, who will calm him?" asked Changkyun

"I'm sure they all can handle that part and Chanwoo can't run away from them for the rest of his life" said Minhyuk

"Well its almost a month since 'that time' I know you deep down there you want to forgive him but the trauma hold you back right?" asked Minhyuk

Chanwoo nodded slowly at Minhyuk's question. "Maybe with this way, you will be able to make peace with them and yourself" said Wonho, sounding agree with Minhyuk

"No I can't agree" said Changkyun

"I'll do it" said Chanwoo suddenly, "What? Are you sure?" asked Changkyun

"I'll give it a try hyung" said Chanwoo "I'll be fine" said Chanwoo, reassuring Changkyun, even though he wasnvt sure either.

"Fine, but if something bad happened, you call my number right away, understand?" asked Changkyun, "Yes hyung, thank you" said Chanwoo

"Alright, I'll tell them that you'll be staying over for a night tomorrow" said Minhyuk

\---------------------------

"Remember Chanwoo ah, call my number immediately if you want to escape" said Changkyun

"Hyung, you're making me more nervous than I already am" said Chanwoo

"I'm sorry, I am worry about you" said Changkyun, "I know, thank you hyung" said Chanwoo, "Anytime Chanwoo ah" said Changkyun.

"Take a good care of him!" said Changkyun

"We will" said Yunhyeong

"See you later Chanwoo ah" said Monsta X's members

"See you later too hyung, thank you so much" said Chanwoo.

Donghyuk and Hanbin came to pick him up, all of them are so nervous. They could feel it in the air

  
"Thank you Chanwoo ah, for doing this" said Hanbin

"It mean so much to us" said Donghyuk, Chanwoo only nodded at their words.

"Yunhyeong and Jinhwan has cooked your favorite meal at home" said Hanbin

"Thank you hyung" said Chanwoo, both of them were glad to hear Chanwoo soft voice.

The whole ride to their dorm was a complete silent. Chanwoo decided to mesmerize himself into the view while Donghyuk and Hanbin were to afraid to start a conversation.

  
"Welcome home Chanwoo ah" said Jinhwan who opened the door for them.

"Thanks hyung" said Chanwoo quietly.

Chanwoo walked inside with them and met Bobby alongside Junhoe in the living room. They were preparing something.

"We think it will be nice to watch film together" said Junhoe

"You can put your stuff in your room first" said Bobby, at the mentioning of his room, Chanwoo froze at his place.

"Do you want to sleep in Yunhyeongs? He can sleep in yours" offered Jinhwan which earned a quick nod from Chanwoo. "Is that okay?" asked Chanwoo

"Of course, I'll talk to him" said Jinhwan, "Thank you hyung" said Chanwoo

"Alright, you can put your bag in his oom" said Bobby

"Yes hyung" said Chanwoo as he started to walk.

"Woah that went well" said Bobby after Chanwoo was out of sight.

They could at least breathe a little now. Without their knowing, Chanwoo was feeling the same. He was gald he didn't get any panic attack.

  
Their dinner was unexpectedly gone well too. Well by mean that Junhoe and Bobby managed to lift the mood by throwing their jokes. It was a surprise that Chanwoo also laughed even if it was a small laugh. They really missed him so bad.

Though Chanwoo was still flinching when they accidentally made contact with him but that was fine. They would work it out in the future.

"Thank you for the dinner hyung" said Chanwoo

"O..of course" said Yunhyeong who was definitely surprised.

They were sitting comfortably in the living room, some on the couch and some on the carpet. Blankets and pillows were everywhere. For normal situations, it would be really nice and comfy.

But not that time, Chanwoo was feeling a little bit uneasy. Especially that he was now sitting in the very middle and the others were sitting very close. It brought back some trauma. He was sweating and his heart was thumping really fast.

"Lets turn off some light" said Donghyuk

"No!" yepled Chanwoo, it triggered him the most.

"You don't want some light to be turned off?" asked Donghyuk

"No! Please no... No..." murmured Chanwoo repeatedly. He was bending over because of the pain in his chest and head.

"Chanwoo ah, calm down" said Junhoe

He was flinching when Donghyuk tried to soothe him by rubbing his back.

"We won't hurt you Chanwoo ah" said Hanbin

But he was still groaning in pain and his gasping for breathe was more clear.

Yunhyeong couldn't watch him like that so he took a bold action. He hugged Chanwoo, forcing the boy to lean on his chest.

Chanwoo was only able to give a little fight which ended up with him actually leaned in more to Yunhyeong's chest.

"Ssshhh... Sshhhh... You're okay, we won't hurt you" whispered Yunhyeong

They felt llike being stabbed when they heard the sniffle from Chanwoo.

Soon the only thing they heard was a soft snore which made them glad.

"I'll bring him to your room" said Junhoe as he was the biggest member so he could lift Chanwoo.

The members decided to stay in one dorm tonight. Hanbin amd Jinhwan in Hanbin's room, Donhyuk, Junhoe, Yunhyeong in Chanwoo's while Bobby decided to sleep in the couch because he thought that it was more comfy.

"Good night Chanwoo ah" said Junhoe as he cover the boy with a thick blankets.

With that he left the room, letting Chanwoo to rest.

  
Chanwoo was woken up in the middle of the night because of the loud sound coming from the thunder outside.

It was very loud, the sound of rain and thunder hitting the ground and else. The sound was stabbing his ears, it was all he could hear.

He's always terrified with the sound, it was his fear since he was kid till the very moment.

Chanwoo tried to sleep again but he couldn't. The sound was definitely a torture to his ear. His heart was beating fast.

Chanwoo had an idea but he was hesitant to do it yet the sound was getting louder and louder. Felt like it was striking him.

So he decided to do it. He got up from his bed and walked out from his room. The boy was walking fast yet quietly to the closest room which was Hanbin's.

He knocked few times before the door was opened. Hanbin and Jinhwan couldn't exactly sleep so they were very surprised to see Chanwoo standing on the doorway with his scared expression and also clutching the end of his clothes.

"Whats wrong Chanwoo ah?" asked Hanbin who opened the door, clearly worried.

Chanwoo didn't get to answer because a thunder striked and he was startled from the sound. He jumped right into Hanbin as he hugged the older male tightly.

"Hyung... I'm scared" whispered Chanwoo, he didn't let go. It felt comfortable.

"Its fine, you don't need to be scared. Its only a thunder" said Hanbin as he guided the boy to their bed. Both Jinhwan and Hanbin were surprised to find out that Chanwoo was scared of thunder.

Chanwoo lied down in the middle still hugging Hanbin. Jinhwan on the other side rubbed his back to soothe him.

"Hyung... Make it stop.. Make it stop please.." asked Chanwoo because there were thunder striking in a row.

He hugged Hanbin thighter as if his life was depending on it. "Its okay Chanwoo ah, we're here" said Jinhwan, Chanwoo hid his face further into Hanbin's chest.

Chanwoo still looked very scared so Jinhwan take the initiative and sang a comfoting lullaby.

He sang as he rubbed Chanwoo's back making the boy relaxed because he was focused only on the lullaby not the thunder anymore.

Soon he fell asleep in Hanbin's arm. Even when he was already fallen asleep again, he still wouldn't let go.

They finally could breathe when they heard Chanwoo's little snores.


	6. Better

"Where is Chanwoo?" asked Junhoe frantically to Jinhwan who was sipping his coffee the kitchen. Everybody except Hanbin and Chanwoo was sitting on the chair, was about to start their breakfast.

"Where is Hanbin too by the way?" asked Yunhyeong

"Calm down, he is at Hanbin's room with Hanbin" said Jinhwan

That surely brought surprise to the others.

"Huh? What do you mean?" asked Donghyuk

"You don't believe it right? Me too....... He came into our room last night beacuse of the storm, he is scared of it" said Jinhwan

"Really? He's scared of thunder and storm?" asked Bobby

"Yeah, and you know what's more surprising?" asked Jinhwan

"What?" asked Yunhyeong

"He was hugging Hanbin the whole time he's asleep" said Jinhwan

Junhoe's mouth was hanging open in the air, he couldn't believe his ears.

"You mean like hugging, tangling his hands around Hanbin hyung?" asked Donghyuk

"Yes and he was the one who made the first move...... Well thunder suddenly striked and he was startled so..." said Jinhwan.

"Wow.... Its a good thing right?" said Bobby, "Of course it is" said Yunhyeong.

"But why are they still in their bed?" asked Junhoe

"Chanwoo is still asleep amd Hanbin didn't want to wake him up so he stay until he's awake" said Jinhwan

"He looks tired.." continued Jinhwan

"He begins to trust us.... Thats a good thing, we can do this, we can fix this" said Jinhwan

"Hoamm...." yawned Chanwoo, opening his eyes.

Somehow he felt really comfortable and warm. He didn't want to move at all.

"You're awake?" Hanbin's voice came flowing to his ears and just then the memories from last night started to play in his head.

"Hanbin hyung?" said Chanwoo, surprised. He immediately entangled himself from Hanbin.

"I... I'm... sorry hyung" said Chanwoo nervously, he didn't dare to look at Hanbin's eyes.

"Hey.. Hey... Why are you sorry Chanwoo ah? You don't have to" said Hanbin but Chanwoo still looked scared and nervous.

"Look at me Chanwoo ah" said Hanbin softly, he was carefull not to scare the boy. He held Chanwoo's face softly, he was glad that Chanwoo didn't flinch.

"You don't need to be scared with me or any of us, we won't hurt you again...... I can promise you that" said Hanbin

Chanwoo looked straight into Hanbin's eyes, there were no lie in it, at least he thought.

"Do you trust me?" asked Hanbin

Slowly but surely Chanwoo nodded his head that brought a smile into Hanbin's face.

"I love you Chanwoo ah" said Hanbin, instantly hugging Chanwoo

"I... I'm... sorry I can't say it back right now but... but..." said Chanwoo

"That's fine, let time does their job" said Hanbin

"Thank you so much hyung" said Chanwoo leaning into Hanbin's embrace.

They stayed in that position for few minutes before Chanwoo pulled himself.

"I'll go take a shower first, you can take yours in Yunhyeong hyung's room." said Chanwoo

"Yes hyung" said Chanwoo.

  
"So Chanwoo ah, do you want me to pick you up?" asked Changkyun

Chanwoo was sitting on Yunhyeong's bed with a small towel hangin on his neck, preventing his wet hair to wet his clothes.

"Actually hyung, I think I'm gonna stay for another night" said Chanwoo

"Really? Are you sure?" asked Changkyun, "I think, but I'm willing to try it" said Chanwoo

"Okay, be safe" said Changkyun, "You too hyung" said Chanwoo as the line went out.

Chanwoo put his phone and his towel down before he exited the room. Frankly he was starving and some food might help.

As he entered the kitchen, he saw Bobby was standing next to the water dispenser with a glass of water in his hand.

They exchanged a really awkward smile,

"You hungry Chanwoo ah? Yunhyeong kept your food in the table, just need to reheat it again" said Bobby

"Thanks hyung" said Chanwoo, he moved to do what Bobby said

But Chanwoo was clumsy enough to touch the hot pot, somehow he forgot that it was hot.

"Ouchh..." whimpered Chanwoo

"You're okay?" asked Bobby who watched Chanwoo from earlier.

"Yes hyung" said Chanwoo but clearly his expression told the otherwise.

"Don't lie Chanwoo ah, come with me here" said Bobby, taking Chanwoo wrist.

He took Chanwoo to the sink and put Chanwoo's burns under the flowing water.

Chanwoo hissed a little but soon he felt the pain had lessen.

"Thanks hyung" said Chanwoo, "Its nothing Chanwoo ah, you still need to do this again for a few times" said Bobby

"Yes I understand hyung" said Chanwoo

They accidentally looked into each others eyes and Chanwoo quickly averted his eyes.

Bobby faked a cough to ease the situation.

"Sit Chanwoo ah, I'll prepare your food" said Bobby which was complied by Chanwoo.

Soon Chanwoo was eating deliciously with Bobby watching from the other side of the table.

"Is it good?" asked Bobby, Chanwoo nodded a few times at that.

He looked very cute and Bobby had to restain himself before he would scare the boy.

For now, this was enough.

The rest of the day went smooth as the members were really carefull about how they acted around Chanwoo.

They day went too well for him and Chanwoo felt anxious that something might ruined the day.

"Good night Chanwoo ah" said Yunhyeong as he left his room with his clothes.

"Good nighy hyung" said Chanwoo, relaxing himself on the bed.

Around midnight, Chanwoo was woken up because of the nightmares. He sat up straight as his mind played the nightmare.

It seemed very real even after he woke up. His breathing was ragged and he was sweating a lot when the night was cold.

The tears were clearly flowing out from his eyes, he tried to make a sound but it didn't come out well. He was getting breathless and there is nothing he could do beside clutching his own shirts. He knew he should calm down and worked on his breathe but that moment, he couldn't think.

He didn't realize that he was whimpering the whole time until the door was suddenly opened, not that he could notice, and Junhoe walked in with worry written all over his face.

"Are you okay?" asked Junhoe, taking a sit next to Chanwoo

"Hurts.... Ca.. Can't.... Breathe.." stuttered Chanwoo.

Junhoe knew better that Chanwoo was having a panic attack.

"Chanwoo ah, stay with me" said Junhoe as he rubbed the youngest's back. He was still breathing heavily as he clutched Junhoe's shirt tightly.

"Its only nightmares Chanwoo ah, try to follow me, in.. out... in.. out" whispered Junhoe, he also whispered some sweet things to calm him down. It took 10 minutes for Chanwoo to breathe slowly.

The moment Chanwoo was breathing normally, he lunged himself towards Junhoe. He snuggled his head into the crook of Junhoe's neck

"Its fine, you're safe... You're safe. I'm sorry Chanwoo ah" said Junhoe.

"I..I'm... scared" whispered Chanwoo

Junhoe felt ashamed and pathetic that the main reason Chanwoo was in this state was his stupidness. Chanwoo was the one who needed to pay the price not him, not the others.

He had been really worry when he heard the sound of Chanwoo's whimper coming from Yunhyeong's room. Thankfully he was suddenly feeling thirsty and was about to go and get some drink.

He was hesitant at first but the sound of Chanwoo ragged breathing made him took the action and calling the others would took time.

At this point Chanwoo realized who he was hugging and what had happened but somehow, he couldn't tell why, he didn't want to let go. He knew that he should stay angry at him but maybe his heart had warmed up.

He felt nothing but comfort and warmth and that made him leaned in more.

Junhoe laid both of them down to the bed as he caressed Chanwoo's hair.

"Do you want me to leave? I can leave if this is making you uncomfotable" said Junhoe

"N..no.., stay.... please.." said Chanwoo, "Are you sure?" asked Junhoe

He could feel a little movement on his neck which was a light nod.

"Okay, you can sleep and I'll still be here when you wake up" said Junhoe

"Thanks hyung" mumbled Chanwoo as he started to fall asleep.

Junhoe kept his words because the next morning Chanwoo woke up, he was still in the older's arms.


	7. Stay

Without realizing yet, he snuggled closer the the source of warmth beneath him.

Junhoe could definitely feel someone's breath tickling his neck.

It took seconds for Junhoe realized that someone was Chanwoo whom he had been sleeping with since last night and he had been hugging him the whole time.

"Hyung..." called Chanwoo softly who turned out had woken up since 10 minutes before.

"Hmm?" asked Junhoe, still collecting his soul.

Chanwoo had been watching Junhoe since the moment he woke up, he had been thinking about something while doing that and now his heart had decided.

"I forgive you hyung, I forgive you all" said Chanwoo

"Hmm okay..... Wait.... What??" Junhoe was fully awake now and he couldn't believe his ears.

"I forgive you hyung but you have to promise me you'd never do something stupid like that again" said Chanwoo

"Are this for real?" asked Junhoe

"Yes hyung" said Chanwoo, "Thank you so much Chanwoo ah, hyung promise won't do something like that again" said Junhoe wearing his biggest smile on his face.

"I... I need to tell the others" said Junhoe, he was really happy.

"You can tell them hyung, I want to take a shower anyway" said Chanwoo

"Alright you could take a shower while a I told them" said Junhoe hugging him tightly before rushing out of the room.

"Everyone!!! I have something to tell you!! Gather around!!" Chanwoo was laughing hearing Junhoe who was screaming very loudly.

"What's all the fuss for?" asked Yunhyeong who was preparing breakfast on the kitchen. He was surprised to see Junhoe came running with grin all over his face.

The others started to come to the kitchen for the same reason, Junhoe's yells.

"Whats wrong?" asked Jinhwan

"So... I have a very good news to tell you" said Junhoe

"What good news?" asked Hanbin

"Its Chanwoo" said Junhoe

"Huh? Whats wrong with him?" asked Donghyuk

"He just said to me in a fully awake state that...... that he forgive us all" said Junhoe

Well the member's jaw were pretty much hanging in the air.

"You're not joking, are you?" asked Bobby

"No I'm not, why do you think I look so happy for?" said Junhoe

They all wore their biggest smile ever.

"I'm gonna make this food become super delicious" said Yunhyeong

"I'll help you hyung" said Donghyuk

"I'd like to take a shower, you guys should too. Lets look like a decent man in front of him" said Jinhwan pointing to Junhoe, Bobby, and Hanbin.

————————————————————

"Hyung" called Chanwoo

"Whats wrong Chanwoo ah? How's your sleep there?" asked Changkyun from the other line

"Hyung.... I have a fine time here and I just.... I just forgive them this morning" said Chanwoo

"Really? That's good, it means they treat you well right?" asked Changkyun

"Yes hyung, they definitely do and I think......" said Chanwoo, "You'll stay with them again?" guessed Changkyun

"Yes hyung, is that okay?" asked Chanwoo, "Of course it is as long as you're happy. Just don't forget that some of your stuff are still in my dorm, ask one of your member to company you to take your belongings" said Changkyun

"I will, thank you so much for everything hyung. Love you" said Chanwoo, "Love you too" said Changkyun before the line went off.

He put his phone on his bed and walked out of the room. His stomach was asking to be fed.

When he got in the kitchen, the others were just sitting down.

"Chanwoo ah, I was just about to call you" said Hanbin

"I guess I'm too hungry to wait" said Chanwoo as he walked closer

But before he got the the chance to sit, the others rose from their chair and walked towards Chanwoo

"What are you doing hyung?" asked Chanwoo

"Thank you Chanwoo ah" said Jinhwan as he hugged Chanwoo.

The others started to join the hug too, Chanwoo felt comfort at the moment, he missed this affection so much.

They hugged for a moment before they had to let go because someone's stomach growled.

"Okay who's that?" asked Hanbin and they all laughed.

  
————————————————————

_"Don't move" whispered Junhoe_

_"N..no please..." begged Chanwoo_

_Junhoe only laughed mockingly while he undone Chanwoo's pants._

  
"Hahhh... Haah...." Chanwoo woke up panting, there would be always a nightmare.

The room suddenly felt to small for him, the walls are suffocating him. He couldn't stay in the room, he felt the urge to get out.

He wanted to sleep in other rooms but he didn't want to interupt the others so his feet brought him to the living room.

His heart was still beating rapidly as he took a sit on the sofa. He was still scared even though he knew that it wouldn't happen again.

He curled up into himself and he was too busy with his own mind that he didn't realize someone was approaching him.

"Chanwoo ah, why are you crying?"

Chanwoo flinched because he didn't expect someone to be awake at this time but he was more surprised to see that he was sobbing.

"Yunhyeong hyung..." said Chanwoo as he looked up.

"Why aren't you in my room?" asked Yunhyeong

"N..nightmare" said Chanwoo

"Is it bad?" asked Yunhyeong as he sat down next to Chanwoo.

Chanwoo's nod was enough for an answer.

"Wanna talk about it?" asked Yunhyeong and Chanwoo let a few shakes.

"Alright.... Want a hug?" asked Yunyeong which earned a nod from the younger boy.

"Alright... Come here" said Yunhyeong as he wrapped his hand around Chanwoo.

Yunhyeong moved slowly to laid both of them down. He felt Chanwoo still shaking either from the cold or nightmare.

"Wanna stay here?" asked Yunhyeong "Yes please.." said Chanwoo slowly.

"Alright, you should sleep Chanwoo ah, I'm here now, you're safe" whispered Yunhyeong

"Promise?" asked Chanwoo, "Promise" said Yunhyeong

His voice was soothing that Chanwoo fell asleep instantly.

After hearing Chanwoo's steady breathing, he joined Chanwoo in dreamland but not before he kissed Chanwoo's head.

The sofa wasn't that big but somehow they made it work.

  
The morning came too early for some of them and it included both Chanwoo and Yunhyeong. They didn't want to move when that meant losing the comfort.

"Wake up you too sleepyheads" said Jinhwan

"Later.." groaned Chanwoo snuggling closer into Yunhyeong's chest while Yunhyeong could only stay still in his position.

"Fine but at least move to your room, how long has you guys slept here? Its freezing though even Bobby had to go to Hanbin's room" said Jinhwan

But none of them responded him.

"C'mon you two" said Jinhwan

"Hmm fine.." said Chanwoo finally as he rose from his comfortable position.

"I'll prepare food for us, you can sleep more Chanwoo ah" said Yunhyeong who was now fully awake.

Chanwoo walked slowly but freezed when he passed a room, his room.

He stared at the door. He actually thought would he ever step into the room again or could he sleep in his bed ever again.

He didn't realize how long he was staring till the door was suddenly opened by Donghyuk who freezed in his spot.

"Do you need something Chanwoo ah?" asked Donghyuk

"N..no... hyung.. I was... I was just passing by" said Chanwoo

Donghyuk finally connected the dots. He just remember that this is Chanwoo's room and to just think about it must be a lot for him.

"Hmm Chanwoo ah?" called Donghyuk

"I know the trauma still haunting you but... do you want to come in? Maybe take a look if you left anything here?" asked Donghyuk, he honestly wanted to see Chanwoo's reaction

Chanwoo was so ready to decline the offer and just quickly rushed into his room but then he remembered something Minhyuk said about maybe he had to face what he feared the most in order to cope with it.

"Alright hyung" said Chanwoo which surprised Donghyuk.

When he stepped in, the room smelled like his hyungs and he was glad. The first thing he saw was Junhoe still sleeping on the bed.

But then seeing Junhoe in his bed made him remember 'the night'. He was hyperventilating as he turned around, he need to get out.

He wasn't ready, not yet. When he turned around, he was met with a worry gaze from Donghyuk. He almost forgot that the boy was standing behind him.

He lunged himself into Donghyuk, they stumbled a little but Donghyuk managed to balance them both. Chanwoo was hugging Donghyuk tightly.

"I.. I can't.... I can't..." said Chanwoo, he was feeling really anxious.

"Ssshhh...... It's alright. I got you.. Sshhhh... No one will hurt you ever again.." said Donghyuk as he rubbed Chanwoo's back. He slowly brought Chanwoo to sit on the edge of his bed, their back was facing Junhoe.

It took minutes for him to actually breathe normally but he didn't let go so as Donghyuk

"Wanna get out or stay for a while?" asked Donghyuk, "....stay..." whispered Chanwoo

"Calm enough?" asked Donghyuk, slowly but surely he could feel Chanwoo nodding his head.

Slowly Donghyuk let go as Chanwoo opened both of his eyes to take a look at his sorroundings.

Nothing changed except the smell and somehow it felt more warm.

He's fine, he is actually fine, no hyperventilating, no tears, only a little bit anxiety.

"Hyung...." called Chanwoo

"Yes Chanwoo ah?" replied Donghyuk

"Am I finally healed?" asked Chanwoo looking straight into the latter's eyes. Both of them showed what supposed to be their happiest expression.


	8. Trip Pt.1

It had been three weeks since the bedroom thing with Donghyuk. Chanwoo was back with iKON. He was already doing activities again.

His realtionship with the members was fine, they cared for him more and Chanwoo gladly accepted it.

"So the company has given us a week off because of our success comeback" announced Hanbin

The others cheered happily because holiday was a rare thing for them.

"So Chanwoo ah, what do you want to do?" asked Bobby

"I don't know, I wanna go home but my parents are abroad and my hyung will be busy with his job" uttered Chanwoo

"Hmm, lets all just stay here and play then" said Donghyuk

"That sounds fun, we can order food, watch movie and much more" said Yunhyeong

"Well come to think of it....... I really wanna go to the beach" said Chanwoo

"Really?" asked Hanbin

"Yeah, it has been a long time since I went there" said Chanwoo

"Lets go to the beach then" said Hanbin

"Really?" asked Chanwoo

"Why not?" said Donghyuk

"Tomorrow?" asked Chanwoo

"Love it" said Jinhwan

"Oh God, I'm so happy!!" cheered Chanwoo

Chanwoo didn't notice the exchanging smiles between the members.

"Well I guess I'm gonna take my leave, I'm very sleepy" said Chanwoo but couldn't take his smile off his face.

"Alright, good night Chanwoo ah" said Jinhwan, followed by the others.

"Good night hyungdeul" said Chanwoo, walking to his room.

He didn't know why but he felt very nervous but happy at the same time. In the end he just shrugged it off and went to sleep.

  
\------------------------------------------

  
"Are you guys ready?" asked Hanbin as he took a sit next to the manager who was in the driver sit.

"We're ready" said Jinhwan

"Alright then, lets go!!" said Hanbin excited.

Chanwoo was adjusting himself in his sit. He sat in the very back between Bobby and Yunhyeong while Jinhwan, Junhoe, and Donghyuk took the middle ones.

"You look sleepy Chanwoo ah, did you have a good sleep?" asked Bobby who was on Chanwoo's right

"I did but I still feel sleepy, I had only gotten proper sleep last night" said Chanwoo

"Well you can sleep, there is still a long time untill we arrive. Just sleep, I'll wake you up" said Bobby

"Alright, thanks hyung" said Chanwoo as he leaned back.

Bobby who was immersed in his phone felt something fell on his shoulder, it was Chanwoo's head.

Bobby tried to be still as possible as he didn't want to disturb his sleeping.

Everytime the car passed a speedbump that made the car shook, Chanwoo snuggled his face closer into the crook of Bobby's neck.

Yunhyeong who was on the other side looked so jealous at the interraction between them and Bobby just stuck his tongue out.

  
One hour had passed and now they were stopping at the rest area but Chanwoo was still asleep. There were only Bobby, Jinhwan, qnd Chanwoo in the car.

Bobby was almost completely fell asleep when he heard whimpers coming from the boy next to him.

It alerted both Bobby and Jihnwan who immediately moved to the back seat, next to Chanwoo.

The whimpers sounded very agonizing. Even in his sleep, Chanwoo was clutching Bobby's shirt tightly.

"I think he's having a nightmare" said Bobby

Chanwoo was hiding his face on the crook of Booby's neck.

"I could see that.." said Jinhwan

"Ssshhhh..... Chanwoo ah, its only nightmare" said Jinhwan as he stroked Chanwoo's head, he didn't care about Chanwoo's sweaty forehead at all.

"Its okay baby, I got you...." said Jinhwan while Bobby kept his arms around Chanwoo but not too tight.

It took a while but Chanwoo's whimpers finally stopped.

"Wake up baby...." said Jinhwan as he kept stroking Chanwoo's hair.

The mentioned boy slowly opened his eyes. Bobby erased the tears trace on Chanwoo's face with his thumb.

There were this kinda mixed expression on his face. Frightened, exhausted, and sad, all mixed, whereas the boy looked just fine an hour ago.

"Hey baby, you were having a nightmare" said Bobby

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Jinhwan

Bobby and Jinhwan didn't expect the boy to burst into tears.

"Sssshhh... Sshhhh.... What's wrong? Is it scary?" asked Jinhwan

Chanwoo looked so tense as well and to be honest, Bobby was scared and so did Jinhwan.

"I.. I.... It... It... You.. You were.... We were.."

"Take your time baby" said Bobby

"We were.... we were on this house near the beach.... We were having a good time then.... You guys..." Chanwoo tears flowed swiftly.

"Ssshhh.... Its fine, it was only a dream, you can tell us what happened...... Don't be scared" said Bobby

"You guys... ra.....rape me again.... I tried to fight back but.... but I can't fight you all, then.... It happened again" cried Chanwoo as he hid his face on his hands.

"Look at me baby........... Chanwoo ah, look at my eyes" said Jinhwan as he pulled Chanwoo hands softly.

Jinhwan raised Chanwoo head slowly, "We won't do it again, we have sworn....... It was only a dream and none of it would happen" said Jinhwan

"You can have my words, okay?" asked Jinhwan

"Okay..." whispered Chanwoo

"Its good to hear it" said Bobby

"Are you still sleepy? Wanna sleep again?" asked Jinhwan, both questions earned a quick shake of his head.

"I can't sleep again.... I don't want to" said Chanwoo

"Want me to sing a song?" asked Jinhwan

"Yes please" said Chanwoo as Bobby pulled him closer.

Jinhwan started to sing a comforting lullaby that made Chanwoo fell asleep exactly five minutes after Jinhwan sang.

"I can't stand watching him in pain" said Jinhwan

"Me too hyung..........., no one actually could" said Bobby

Their conversation was cut by the sound of the car's doors being opened.

"Yunhyeong ah, lets switch sits, alright?" asked Jinhwan

"Alright hyung" said Jinhwan.

They just hoped what they've planned would went well.

  
\---------------------------------

  
"Its a nice place" said Yunhyeong as soon as he finished exploring their rented house for four days. Their manager already went back to seoul, leaving them to have fun.

"Yeah, I could see the beach from here" said Donghyuk.

Chanwoo looked a bit gloomy but he tried to hide it

"How many bedrooms?" asked Junhoe

"Three" answered Hanbin, "So how will we devided the roommates?" asked Donghyuk

"Can I stay with Bobby hyung and Jinhwan hyung?" asked Chanwoo almost immediately

"Of course you can" said Jinhwan while Bobby was signaling the others to agree.

"Alright then, I'll share with Junhoe" said Donghyuk

"That means I'm with you Hanbin" said Yunhyeong

"Great, lets put our staff in our room and get some rest. Its night already, we can have fun tomorrow" said Hanbin

  
\------------------------------------------------

Chanwoo was alone in his room, Bobby and Jinhwan were in the kitchen.

To be honest, he felt lonely and frankly, he missed them even they were only few meters away.

Despite every nightmare he often had, he couldn't bring himself to despise or hate them. He couldn't ignore the fact they weren't in their real mind that time.

In fact, these past days made him felt something more for them.

He found comfort with them, he liked it when they showed affection towards him, he felt hollow when they weren't around.

The members were surely making up for what they had done, it was what Chanwoo always told himself.

But now it seemed like an excuse Chanwoo used to ignore something that was bugging his mind and his heart these days.

He hoped that the members stayed this ways. The incident in the car this afternoon came flashing to his mind.

He loved it when Bobby hold him, he melted under Jinhwan soft hands. His cheeks started to feel hot, he was pretty sure they were red.

"Chanwoo ah, come here for a second!" yelled Jinhwan

He moved his thoughts aside and started to walk to the door.

"What's wro..." Chanwoo's words was cut as he opened the door. He suddenly lost his ability to speak.

His eyes went round, bigger than usual, much bigger.


	9. Last

The room was dark, but not completely. There was this small lights that lit the room.

But that wasn't the one which made his eyes went wide. It was the flowers petals which was laying on the floor, forming a pathway and the big white screen that was used to project a video.

The video started to play and still, he saw no sign of his members.

His attention was brought back to the video as he could hear his own laughter.

The video showed his happy moments taken secretly by the members. They monumentalized him when he was laughing, smiling, sleeping, and even eating.

Some of the contents were him before 'the incident' and some otheres were him after he healed.

He could feel his own tears started to gather around his eyes, blurring his sight.

He felt so touched watching the video and knowing that the members cared for him so much this whole time.

He walked closer to the screen as his tears, a happy one, started to flow.

The video ended with a message,

** _We love you so much Chanwoo ah_ **

** _Do you want to be our boyfriend Jung Chanwoo_ _?_ **

  
Right then the lights went on and the members showed up from the hall and the kitchen.

Chanwoo never felt so happy yet nervous at the same time.

"Hyyung... Is this for real?" asked Chanwoo, wiping his tears.

"Yes Chanwoo ah, as the video says, we want you to be our boyfriend" said Hanbin

"So what is your answer?" asked Junhoe

"But you don't have to answer it now if you need time to think about it," said Yunhyeong

"We won't put any pressure on you" said Jinhwan

"Its okay if you say no" said Bobby

"We will accept whatever your answer is" said Donghyuk

"Yes.." said Chanwoo slowly

"Pardon me?" asked Bobby, ensuring.

"I said yes hyung. I want to be your boyfriend" said Chanwoo looking straight into their eyes one by one before he diverted his eyes to the ground because he was shy.

Bobby literally jumped himself into Chanwoo as he hugged the boy thightly followed by the others.

They stayed in that position for some times before Chanwoo broke the hug 'caused the boy needed air to breathe.

"But hyung, what if I fail to become a good boyfriend? What if I make one of you feel neglected? What if..." babbled Chanwoo

"Sshhh.... to much what if, lets just enjoy our time and if there is a problem, we will find a way" said Jinhwan

"Don't doubt yourself baby" said Hanbin

"Thank you hyung" said Chanwoo as they all hugged again.

  
\------------------------------------------------------------

  
"Hyung.... Look! Its about time" said Chanwoo pointing to the raising sun

"Lets make a wish!" said Hanbin as they clenched their fists and made a hope.

"Now, lets get back to the house. Its freezing out here" said Yunhyeong

They started to make their way to the house happily. This is their first day of officially dating.

"Hyung... I'm hungry" whined Chanwoo

"But its still so early Chanwoo ah, no shops are opened yet and we have no food" said Yunhyeong

Chanwoo groaned as he slumped himself onto the couch.

"I know!" said Chanwoo suddenly as he rushed to his room.

It didn't take that long before he came back with his hands full of ramyeon.

"Lets eat this." said Chanwoo

"Are you sure you want to eat ramyeon this early? Its not healty" said Donghyuk

"Pleaseeee......." whined Chanwoo and the others just couldn't resist his cuteness.

"Fine! I'll just eat it alone" said Chanwoo as he pouted.

"Aww don't be mad Chanwoo ah. If that what you want, then lets eat it" said Hanbin as he walked to Chanwoo and took the ramyeon.

"Really?? Thanks hyunggg" said Chanwoo before he kissed Hanbin's right cheek very fast and immediately ran to the kitchen.

"Ya! Not fair! Why only Hanbin got the kiss?" said Junhoe

Hanbin only sticked his tounge out to the members as he went after Chanwoo.

"I'm so full, thank you for the food" said Chanwoo

"Okay so who will wash the dishes?" asked Yunhyeong

"Lets play rock scissor and paper" said Junhoe

"Good idea" said Donghyuk

"Rock scissor paper!" said they all in unison

"Yessss" cheered Bobby, Donghyuk, and Hanbin

"Rock scissor paper!" said Chanwoo

"Yess!!" cheered Yunhyeong and Junhoe

"Nooo.... Why meee??" whined Chanwoo

"Why me again?" asked Jinhwan

"No rematch, get to work boys" said Yunhyeong

Jinhwan and Chanwoo could only accept the result.

It might be their bad luck but either way, Jinhwna was glad he could spend some time with Chanwoo.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------

  
They spent the rest of their holiday in joy, no sadness even the slightest.

Chanwoo got no nightmare as he always slept together with the members.

He never regretted saying 'yes' to the members, it was the best choice he ever made.

Even if he still couldn't be able to make love with them, the members showed no force.

A kiss only was more than enough for them.

What mattered to them that Chanwoo was happy because if Chanwoo was happy, so did they.

There would come the day when the would do it but for now, they were just enjoying their time.

Chanwoo never felt so loved before and he was really glad for the members.

They were just finished watching movies and now they had turned the living room into a big bedroom. All of them was sleeping on the floor on a air mattress.

Chanwoo was on the middle with Hanbin on his left and Bobby on his right.

"I love you hyung, I love you all" whispered Chanwoo but stil audible enough before he closed his eyes and completely fell asleep.

"We love you too Chanwoo ah" replied all of them before they joined Chanwoo on the dreamland.

They all were happy and that was enough.

.

.

.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> So how is the story?
> 
> Do you like it?


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